I’ve been meaning to write a blog about this for a long time. I’m just waiting for the right moment to do this, when I say right moment I meant, it means that as I write this blog, it would strike both of us. Yes. You and me.
When I was a kid, I’m very fond of pretty things; pretty clothes, pretty shoes, pretty hairclips, pretty toys, pretty everything. I remember having one of those Barbie dolls that I begged for as a Christmas present. Yung Barbie doll na mahaba ang hair, and it comes with this hairspray that creates pink stars on the hair. It was the coolest thing. I loved that Barbie. Because Barbie is just a pretty thing, more than that, She’s screams PERFECT! Oh boy, heartbeat na lang ang kulang. Hahaha! So as you can see, being born as a girl who has this innate aptitude that we are drawn pretty things, we strive to be like one. We strive to own one. We strive to be just like a perfect someone, someone as perfect as Barbie so people will love us or appreciate us.
I’m not generalizing here. I’m just saying for experience, that growing up, one of the reasons why women don’t feel beautiful is because they kept striving to be looking and acting like someone else. It’s too technical I know but in reality that’s it. It’s being beautiful, in every aspect that really matters.
It’s just sad that sometimes the world has given the word a different meaning. It’s like there were built-in preferences. That men would always choose the one who’s taller than those who lack in height; those who are fair-skinned than the in-born morena; those who have supermodel body than those who are full-figured and voluptuous; It’s what magazines, media, and sad to say, even in our families and friends dictate.
This is why women who has been influenced, poisoned with these kinds of standards are repressed to blossom. If they could only have what others’ have, then they feel beautiful. There will always be comparison from other people and sometimes from within.
I for one had gone through this.
I am part of the women who is far busy comparing myself to others, and even up to now, it's a daily struggle. It started during my younger days at school and even at church. It was basically a difficult situation wherein I reacted two different ways, one is being all-too-defensive about it when I do know that I really have self-esteem issues, the other is simply wallowing myself in self-pity. So I would read self-help books, listen to articles in magazines about feeling good about yourself, yes I would be empowered but only for a short-while.
Here’s why.
I remember back on Friendster days, I posted a profile picture enclosing a caption that says: “I feel beautiful.” An acquaintance (I really wouldn’t say the word “friend” hahaha!) replied to that caption by saying “Ngyeee!” Okaaaay!!! Ikaw na pogi! Hahaha! Maybe it was a joke but for me, I know when a banter implies something, and that banter qualifies as one. But seriously, I wrote that caption for I read once that you have to start telling yourself kind words than bashing yourself in front of the mirror. I’ve read that confidence is the best accessory for you to be beautiful. That’s what planted in my head. So I was really surprised that having that kind of mindset, you can still get misinterpreted.
I’m not saying that what I’ve read is not totally right, I just feel that something is really off. You can’t fake confidence. I realized that I needed something more than just filling my mind that I am beautiful to be able to feel beautiful.
I remembered one quote Pastor Chinkee shared on one of his podcast. It’s a good mantra to live by. It’s true and it’s logical.
WRONG MINDSET LEADS TO WRONG ACTIONS.
Like I said, telling yourself that you’re beautiful is a great habit to practice. But how can we make it long-term? How can we make this feeling last forever? There is a deeper explanation than repeatedly saying those words each day. The sense of security which no one, and nothing could ever give, It’s with Christ.
We have to realize, that because God took the great effort to plan our existence, to wire us according to His purpose and will, to show the perfect kind of love by dying on the cross, then I AM BEAUTIFUL.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. – Psalms 139:14 (NIV)
It’s not the clothes that we buy, but how God clothed us with His grace and passion. It’s not the color that we put on our face, but what God’s wisdom and provision that He adds color to our lives. That if you could see yourself in the mirror right now, God looks at you on a special way, loves you dearly that you are worth shedding of His blood. I am certain that is more than enough. It is not just long-term, but eternal.
I love The Message’s version of this verse:
"Think of yourselves the way Christ Jesus thought of himself. He had equal status with God but didn't think so much of himself that he had to cling to the advantages of that status no matter what. Not at all. When the time came, he set aside the privileges of deity and took on the status of a slave, became human! Having become human, he stayed human. It was an incredibly humbling process. He didn't claim special privileges. Instead, he lived a selfless, obedient life and then died a selfless, obedient death—and the worst kind of death at that—a crucifixion." – Philippians 2:5-8
So whenever you feel like you’re not pretty, or lacking something because of the standards that were set into this world, think about such things that happened 2,000 years ago, paint that picture in your head, because how God sees you is far greater than how you see yourself. He has proven that. And we must believe in that, because nothing can snatch us away from that kind of love.
God bless you guys. Feel God's warm embrace each day. <3
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