Hello Sunshine!

So excited for Summer! Yay!!! :)

Breaking News..

I was on my downstairs, finishing up before going to church and I saw my sister who just got out of bed and we had this quick conversation...

Do: "Magdadala ka ng sasakyan?"
Me: "Oo. Bakit?"
Do: "Wala lang. Mag-ingat ka lang." (but her facial expression says something else.)
Me: (becoming a little bothered..) "Bakit nga?"
Do: "Alam mo ba nangyari kay AJ Perez?"
Me: "Hindi. Bakit?"
Do: "Patay na siya."

Though I don't know him personally, not even close in meeting him personally, I really felt like there's something valuable that was lost that I become really troubled. I happen just to watch him on ASAP and Showtime. The last time was when he's the featured artist for Cinema One and from what I saw, I think he's a really nice person.

This incident brought me back to the days when the whole country was shocked on Rico Yan's death. Seriously, I even cried. I'm really sad whenever I hear people, who has so much going on for them, who has so many things to prove for, who were at their prime.. died on such early age. In Aj's case, he was only 18.

I'm sorry to sound a little emotional or "OA" but the reality is, When I heard the news, I can't function properly early in the morning. I can't smile. I can't praise and worship on the Church. My mind was elsewhere. I was gloomy for a certain time.

Then I remembered in one of my devotional reading, it said: "Just because difficulties come our way, or troubles happen; It doesn't mean that God fell asleep or lost track of us, we're living on an imperfect world."

We can purely question why this happened but we serve a God who is not bound by time. He was never taken-aback on things about you. He knows it. He will never be surprised. It only proves that God is sovereign among us all. That if He says our time is up, it's done. Over.

What happened to Aj Perez made me realize two things: One, is that how in awe I am of God's grace. That it's not my effort, or my own strength but His mercy that gets me through during the day. I thank Him for the protection and security that He gives me and my family everyday. That I know, the will He has for us, it is good, pleasing and perfect.

Two: Life is really too short. We'll never know when. So I took time to reflect if I'm doing things that are with utmost importance and glorifying to my Father in heaven. Whether I'm neglecting the purpose of this life God lent me. Such queries made me think if I'm doing fine in being His daughter. Life has offered so many endeavors, which is not bad, but sometimes they conceal and deviate us to what our purpose in life really is. I realized I need to take serious action when it comes to spreading God's Word, in every possible way I can. I realized I need to cultivate relationships with people who never met Jesus and who don't understood what He did. I realized I need to hug my grandparents more. I realized I need to tell my parents and siblings how much I love them. I realized I need to exercise more on giving. I realized I need to fix broken friendships. So many meaningful things that needed to be done actually. Life is really short. We must do things that really matter before it's too late.

Before I end this blog, I encourage each of us to include Aj Perez' family on our prayers tonight. Words cannot fully describe the sorrow they are facing right now. Let's all pray that they may feel God's love and embrace in this situation.

Because God knows better than I do.. I will wait. :)

I am sharing to you this video that I saw on Miss Thammie's site. In spite of being sleepy and unimaginably tired from work. I can't let this newfound revelation unshared. So I hope that you guys will be moved like I did. Hopefully I could write a more detailed commentary about this video. As of now, I am blessed to stumble on a site wherein it contained the complete poem, so let's just watch and then break free..

"But those who hope in the Lord shall renew their strength, they will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary; they will walk and not be faint." Isaiah 40:31 NIV

So it seemed that it was cool, for everyone to be in a relationship but me.
So I took matters into my own hands, and ended up with him.
Him who displayed the characteristics of a cheater, a liar, an abuser, & a thief.

So why was I surprised when he broke into my heart?
I called 911, but I was cardiac arrested for aiding and abetting,
Cause it was me who let him in…
Claiming we were “just friends”.
It was already decided for me by the first date, that even if he wasn’t!
I was gonna make him ‘The One’
You know, I was tired of being alone.
And I simply made up in my mind, that it was about that time,

So I decided to drag him along for the ride,
Cause I was always the bridesmaid & never the bride.
A virgin in the physical, but mentally just a grown woman on the corner in heat!
Who was tired of the wait!
So I was gonna make him ‘The One’.
He had a… form of Godliness… but not much.
But hey, hey I can change him! So (honey) I’ll TAKE him, I mean he’s close… enough.
Ready to sell my aorta for a quarter, not knowing the value of its use to me.
Arties so clogged with my will, it blocked His will from flowing through me.
So, I thank Christ that His blood pressure gave this heart an attack,
That flatlined my obscured vision, put me flat on my back
Through my ignorance He sawed,
Through my sternum He sawed & cracked open my chest
To transplant Psalm 51:10
A new heart & a renewed right spirit within!

So now I fully understand,
Better yet I thoroughly comprehend,
How much I need to wait… for You.
See, the bad thing is that I knew he wasn’t you from the beginning..
Cause in the beginning was the Word
And he didn’t even sound or shine like Your Son
Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks,
And all he could whisper was sweet, empty nothings –
Which meant NOTHING.
He couldn’t even pray when I needed him to,
Asking him to fast would be absurd!
So forget about being cleansed & washed with water through the Word…
But I know You..
You were already praying for me.
Even never having met me,
Let me assure you, I will wait for you.

I will no longer date, socialize or communicate with carbon copies of you
To appease my boredom or to quench my thirstiness I have for attention
And short-lived compliments from ‘sorta kindas’.
You know….
He ‘sort kinda’ right, but ‘sorta kinda’ wrong?
His first name LUKE,
His last name WARM.
I, I won’t settle for false companionship
I won’t lay in the embrace of his arms,
Attempting to find some closeness,
But never feeling so far apart cause, I just wanna be held
Cause ”all I gotta do is Say” No!
No more ‘almost sessions’ of ‘almost coming close’
Passing winks & buying drinks,
I’ma, I’ma, I’ma flirt!
Who flirts with the ideology of,
‘Can you just tell me how much I can get away with & still be saved?’
NO more.
I’ll stay in my bed alone, and write poems, about how I will wait for you.
He won’t even come close,
Our fingers won’t even interlock
We won’t even exchange breath
Cause I have thoughts that I’ve ‘saved as’ in a file that God has only equipped you to open.

I will no longer get weighted down,
From so-called friends & family talks,
About the concern for my biological clock
When I serve the Author of Time.
Who is NOT subject to time,
But I’M subject to Him,
He has the ability to STOP, FAST FORWARD, PAUSE, or REWIND at any given time…

So if we could role play,
You would be Abraham & I would be Sara
Or you can be Isaac & I can be Rebecca – a servant’s answered prayer
I am bone of your bone, flesh of your flesh,
Made up of your rib Adam!
And once we meet, like electrons
I will be bound to your nucleus, completely indivisible atom.
We even speak the same math: 1 + 1 + 1 = 3, which really equals 1 if you add Him.
We were all created in His image,
But you have the ability to reflect, project & even detect the Son.
If I were to explain what you looked like,
You would have to look like a star,
A son of the Son..
I would gain energy simply from the light on me.
I would need you , in order to complete my photosynthesis
I await your revelation, but once again from the genesis, I will wait for you.

And I will know you… because when you speak I will be reminded of Solomon’s wisdom,
Your ability to lead will remind me of Moses,
Your faith will remind me of Abraham,
Your confidence in God’s Word will remind me of Daniel,
Your inspiration will remind me of Paul,
Your heart for God will remind me of David,
Your attention to detail will remind me of Noah,
Your integrity will remind me of Joseph,
And your ability to abandon your own will, will remind me of the disciples,
But your ability to love selflessly & unconditionally will remind me of Christ.
But I won’t need to identify you by any special Matthews or any special Marks,
Cause His word will be tatted all over your heart.

And you will know me, and you will find me,
Where… the boldness of Esther meets the warm closeness of Ruth.
Where the hospitality of Lydia is aligned with the submission of Mary,
Which is engulfed in the tears of a praying Hanna.
I will be the one, drenched in Proverbs 31… waiting for you.

But to my Father, my Father who has known me before I was birthed into this earth
Only if you should see fit…
I desire Your will above mine,
So even if you call me to a life of singleness,
My heart is content with YOU – the One who was sent.
YOU are the greatest love story ever told,
The greatest story ever known
You are forever my judge & I’m forever Your witness
And I pray that I’m always found on a mission about my Father’s business
Oh, I will always be Yours!
And I will always wait for You Lord, more than the watchmen wait for the morning
More than the watchmen wait for the morning…

I will wait.