Let me just compensate a month without post, with this most heartfelt blog. I will try my best you know, so please do bear with me. Hahaha! I miss blogspot. Grabe, parang naninibago tuloy ako. Hahaha. I’ve been meaning to write but aside from the fact that my workload deprived me of writing here, I also went blank and I can't think of something that is post-worthy; the kind that you just stare to the blinking cursor for an hour only to come up with nothing.
A lot of things happened over the month but I'd rather skip those and go to the main purpose of this entry. hehehe! Okay, ang suplada ko lang, hehehe. But seriously time flies so fast that magugulat ka na lang ay February na! So it’s February 14, 2011. I see a lot of red. I see a lot of people wearing red, carrying red roses, I hear horrible traffic complaints, I bet restos around town are jam-packed, I even got to see movies on HBO and Starworld showing romantic flicks. I can smell love in the air. It’s the most awaited day for most people.
To be honest, I kind of planned this day way back last year, a bit differently. Now, as Megamind would say it, I can’t help but feel a little melancholy (sorry kelangan maisingit ko talaga yun. Hehehe!). Seriously, it was that time of the day. The fact that for the past 26 years, I've been celebrating Heart's day all by myself. Maybe with friends but never with a partner.
It’s normal for us single ladies to feel a little jealous whenever we see other girls holding bouquet of roses on one hand and the other is clasped with her partner. It’s normal that we feel a little envious that some girls are busy preparing for their dinner dates after an 8-hour shift from work. It’s normal that we feel a little pinch because we have no one special to actually spend it with. Some single ladies would party with other single ladies and drink hardcore, turning them from single ladies to lasengga ladies. Hehehe! Some would prefer watching horror movies. Scare the whole system in them that they forget “Ay It’s Valentine’s day pala..” Some are just plain happy, which is good; some are just apathetic; some are just plain lonely.
So you can just guess which category I belong. Of course I’m not the lasengga one because I really don’t like to drink. I’m not the type either who would watch horror movie alone because I really have a katapangan-shortage hehehe. I’m not indifferent because I still enjoy seeing other people celebrating this month of love and i still get giddied up inside… the remaining two adjectives don’t really fit for some reason. Oh now I know the word. Empty.
As I’ve said earlier I wanted to try at least just this once, to be fully sincere. No holds barred (tama ba?) hehehe! There were really those moments, especially on a day like this. Parang may kulang. It's as if you wanted to eat something so bad but you just can't find it. It's like there's a missing piece on an outfit. It's like watching a movie and made you feel "bitin" when you left the movie house.
That's like it. It’s as if a man would be the one who will fill the emptiness inside; that if I am with a partner, I might enjoy life, I can be happy.
But let me share you one thing that I’ve learned on one book entitled “Saving my First Kiss”. I think my sister blogged something about this during her multiply days.
“..We cannot expect a man to come in and make us whole; only something perfect and permanent can do that. Only our Maker can seal our hearts completely. Only He can close up all the crevices in our hearts.”Perfect and permanent. Those are the things that best describes the love the Maker has for us. A love that can make us whole. This is how God’s love is shining through. His embrace is ready for those who are in need in times like this. God never fails to educate us and surround us with people who never fail to love us. I was being molded again and again of understanding what love really meant. I was being reminded that with His love, I am secure. I am complete and I can be happy. I am whole. That I have to understand that I can’t go on searching for something that God can only give. It’s the feeling of security. It’s the feeling of confidence that I can trust in Him. And by that kind of love, I can love another person, who, through Christ, is whole.
As the book would say summarize it,
“If we expect a mere man’s affection to do God’s job, we are setting the poor guy up for a serious failure, and we are setting ourselves up for a serious disappointment.”Very well said don’t you think? :)
(c) tumblr.com
So this month of love, for women who are spending it with so much glee in the absence of being in a romantic relationship, I applaud you.. and for us women who are/were struggling.. May you find God's love in its perfect form. No fear girls, God is in the relationship business. I believe in waiting for something greater requires a lot of patience, and trust with our Lord.
"There is no fear in love. But perfect love casts out all fear..." 1 John 4:18
Happy Puso Everyone! :)
+++
OFFTOPIC:
So I never expected that I would receive anything today. As in wala. I'm planning to have dinner with my sister but it turned out that we won't be able this night. But I really thank God for having the sweetest siblings on earth. Hehehe! Thanks Do, for this mug, that you ordered all the way from tumblr. hehehe! Now everytime I drink coffee, milk, milo, I’m being reminded everyday what true love really is. And to my Bro, thank you for the long-stemmed rose that you left on my bedroom door. It was really a surprise. Nakapatong pa talaga siya sa chair diba? Parang may nagsasabing bawal ka lumabas hangga't di mo nakikita yung rose. hahaha! You never fail to make us feel special Kuya. I love you both.
Pics are taken from my phone which is about to retire by the way, kaya pag pasensyahan niyo na. hehehe!
Sweetness ayt? :)
