A Happy Puso. :)

Let me just compensate a month without post, with this most heartfelt blog. I will try my best you know, so please do bear with me. Hahaha! I miss blogspot. Grabe, parang naninibago tuloy ako. Hahaha. I’ve been meaning to write but aside from the fact that my workload deprived me of writing here, I also went blank and I can't think of something that is post-worthy; the kind that you just stare to the blinking cursor for an hour only to come up with nothing.

A lot of things happened over the month but I'd rather skip those and go to the main purpose of this entry. hehehe! Okay, ang suplada ko lang, hehehe. But seriously time flies so fast that magugulat ka na lang ay February na! So it’s February 14, 2011. I see a lot of red. I see a lot of people wearing red, carrying red roses, I hear horrible traffic complaints, I bet restos around town are jam-packed, I even got to see movies on HBO and Starworld showing romantic flicks. I can smell love in the air. It’s the most awaited day for most people.

To be honest, I kind of planned this day way back last year, a bit differently. Now, as Megamind would say it, I can’t help but feel a little melancholy (sorry kelangan maisingit ko talaga yun. Hehehe!). Seriously, it was that time of the day. The fact that for the past 26 years, I've been celebrating Heart's day all by myself. Maybe with friends but never with a partner.

It’s normal for us single ladies to feel a little jealous whenever we see other girls holding bouquet of roses on one hand and the other is clasped with her partner. It’s normal that we feel a little envious that some girls are busy preparing for their dinner dates after an 8-hour shift from work. It’s normal that we feel a little pinch because we have no one special to actually spend it with. Some single ladies would party with other single ladies and drink hardcore, turning them from single ladies to lasengga ladies. Hehehe! Some would prefer watching horror movies. Scare the whole system in them that they forget “Ay It’s Valentine’s day pala..” Some are just plain happy, which is good; some are just apathetic; some are just plain lonely.

So you can just guess which category I belong. Of course I’m not the lasengga one because I really don’t like to drink. I’m not the type either who would watch horror movie alone because I really have a katapangan-shortage hehehe. I’m not indifferent because I still enjoy seeing other people celebrating this month of love and i still get giddied up inside… the remaining two adjectives don’t really fit for some reason. Oh now I know the word. Empty.

As I’ve said earlier I wanted to try at least just this once, to be fully sincere. No holds barred (tama ba?) hehehe! There were really those moments, especially on a day like this. Parang may kulang. It's as if you wanted to eat something so bad but you just can't find it. It's like there's a missing piece on an outfit. It's like watching a movie and made you feel "bitin" when you left the movie house.

That's like it. It’s as if a man would be the one who will fill the emptiness inside; that if I am with a partner, I might enjoy life, I can be happy.

But let me share you one thing that I’ve learned on one book entitled “Saving my First Kiss”. I think my sister blogged something about this during her multiply days.

“..We cannot expect a man to come in and make us whole; only something perfect and permanent can do that. Only our Maker can seal our hearts completely. Only He can close up all the crevices in our hearts.”

Perfect and permanent. Those are the things that best describes the love the Maker has for us. A love that can make us whole. This is how God’s love is shining through. His embrace is ready for those who are in need in times like this. God never fails to educate us and surround us with people who never fail to love us. I was being molded again and again of understanding what love really meant. I was being reminded that with His love, I am secure. I am complete and I can be happy. I am whole. That I have to understand that I can’t go on searching for something that God can only give. It’s the feeling of security. It’s the feeling of confidence that I can trust in Him. And by that kind of love, I can love another person, who, through Christ, is whole.

As the book would say summarize it, “If we expect a mere man’s affection to do God’s job, we are setting the poor guy up for a serious failure, and we are setting ourselves up for a serious disappointment.”

Very well said don’t you think? :)

(c) tumblr.com

So this month of love, for women who are spending it with so much glee in the absence of being in a romantic relationship, I applaud you.. and for us women who are/were struggling.. May you find God's love in its perfect form. No fear girls, God is in the relationship business. I believe in waiting for something greater requires a lot of patience, and trust with our Lord.

"There is no fear in love. But perfect love casts out all fear..." 1 John 4:18

Happy Puso Everyone! :)

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OFFTOPIC:

So I never expected that I would receive anything today. As in wala. I'm planning to have dinner with my sister but it turned out that we won't be able this night. But I really thank God for having the sweetest siblings on earth. Hehehe! Thanks Do, for this mug, that you ordered all the way from tumblr. hehehe! Now everytime I drink coffee, milk, milo, I’m being reminded everyday what true love really is. And to my Bro, thank you for the long-stemmed rose that you left on my bedroom door. It was really a surprise. Nakapatong pa talaga siya sa chair diba? Parang may nagsasabing bawal ka lumabas hangga't di mo nakikita yung rose. hahaha! You never fail to make us feel special Kuya. I love you both.

Pics are taken from my phone which is about to retire by the way, kaya pag pasensyahan niyo na. hehehe!

Sweetness ayt? :)

Happy with my new B-I-B-L-E!!

Yeheeey!! I finally got the chance to buy a new Bible. I was really having a difficult time in choosing which translation to buy but I discovered that you can search so many verses with different translations nowadays. Thanks to biblegateway.com; I opted to buy the NIV because the ESV Bible is really way out of budget and huge to carry every Sunday. And since I'm quite drawn to gray/silver stuff, I'm so glad that they have it on this color. Thank you Lord for the blessings. Iba Ka talaga Lord. Overflow. :)

"For Your Word is a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path." Psalms 119:105

People of the Year

God didn’t fail me that when I said 2010 will be a year that I will look forward to. He didn’t let me down and for that I will always be thankful. There are so many things that happened that I just really thank God for. I’m overwhelmed by His loving kindness and faithfulness. That’s why for my very first post for 2011, I’ve decided to make my own version of Time magazine’s People of the Year. People that I know He used for me to get through 2010 just like the way He planned it.

We got this whole idea from Bianca G. but I never got the chance to make one. Let’s just say that now is the perfect time to do it. I am blessed to have encountered and know these people and how they influenced and inspired me. Note that these people are far from perfect, human, capable of making mistakes; yet in spite of those, still managed to give great effect not only me, but to others as well.

April Gem Evangelista

I call her Apps, Auntie Apps, Appachengcheng, Madam, Mother, Mother earth… whatever suits my mood actually and she doesn’t mind. I guess she does but she keeps it to herself. Hehehe. I’ve only known her for a year but she proved to me that she is the kind of friend that won’t let you down. When I was at my lowest point, she was the one who kept checking, who gave me simple yet meaningful advices, always tagging me along even if it’s just a quick dinner at RP Galleria or a sweaty badminton game. You can really depend on her. Thank you for being there for me madam, and now I think it’s the best time for us to do the same for you.

Janice and Sonia

They are the singing sensations of Youtube. I’m not really acquainted with them, and I saw them on Youtube ages ago. We haven’t personally met but they inspire me to introduce Jesus to other people through music. You can see how much talent God has blessed them, and they are putting it to good use. Plus, lagi silang maganda diba?! Hahaha! Nakakainspire lang! hehehe! I guess it’s really true. Once you’ve received the peace that comes from God, it will really reflect on the outside. Keep it up girls.

Ma’am Weng

I’ve been with this person for more than a year now. And all I can say is that I really thank God that I got the chance to work with her. She’s more than just a co-worker, an officemate, she’s my "nanay-nanayan" at the office. I can still remember it vividly, how tears fell on her eyes when she saw me crying one time. It’s quite mala-soap opera. Hindi na ako umabot sa CR nun para umiyak ng bongga. She just hugged me, and I felt like I was hugging my mom. She knows what I went through that she was quite protective of me. Nanay na nanay lang talaga ang drama. Maybe that’s the reason why I really look up to her like that. I feel like I can tell her so much of anything. I don’t know how I would do without you at the office Ma’am Weng. You’re the best.

Vilma Santos

I’m blessed with so many surrogate moms that I have another mother figure on our church. Tita Vilma or Tita V. as we call her; is our advisor of our WLT (Worship Leading Team). She is like your own personal barkada. She’s cool but knows when to get serious. She’s generous. She’s caring. She’s sweet. She's super-energetic worship leader. She treats each members of the team as if he or she is her own child. She’s very passionate in sharing the Word of God. She’s very good with business too. I guess that’s where my friend Christie got her entrepreneurial skills. Whenever I talk with Tita V, it makes sense, and I can see how much she has changed for every trial that comes her way. I amazed how she trusts God completely. Never backing down because she knows how big her God is.

Patty Laurel

I’m her blog-follower for how many years and when I first saw this People-of-the-Year concept. I know she would be included in this list. If you would read her blog, maybe you could relate to me when I say that I want to be like her. Patty inspires me to be myself. Because when I read her blog, her personality really shines. She’s effortlessly funny and effortlessly beautiful. The best part is she gets to spend lots of time with kids. Imagine a great opportunity to teach kids about Jesus and instill them something that they would carry and remember when they grow up. Another thing that inspires me the most is her travel experiences. Her practicality amazes me. I would never forget a line from one of her posts. “Instead of spending your time and money on things, spend it on experiences.” She unconsciously taught me to be practical right then and there. One of the things I’m thankful for. That's her challenging Mount Everest by the way. hehe!

April Joy Reperuga

I call her Buddy Joy. Hehe. And surprisingly, she calls me buddy too. It’s such a revelation to see how this lady matured and bloomed. She doesn’t even have a clue how she’s inspiring me in her own little way. I’m inspired on how she accomplishes things. She’s never mediocre. She gives her best and even if no one helps her, she doesn’t complain. She does her own thing and she does it gracefully. She’s very generous too. She’s a proof that God blesses those who give. She knows what she wants and stands by it. Gusto niya mag-drive before and now she’s doing it. She wanted to go out of town and she did. She’s never complacent and indecisive. Those are the qualities that I wished would have rubbed off on me. Thank you buddy, not just for giving me and the group treats and doing those work for the church, but for inspiring me more than so many ways you can imagine. Wishing you lalalalalove this year. Hehehe! Mwah!

Pastor Dennis and Miss Thammie Sy

I’m overwhelmed by the generosity of this couple. They never fail to give something that must be shared. They don’t try to conceal the knowledge that they have but instead they blog it. They share it for other people’s benefit. They encourage people in living by faith. Their relationship is something that you would want to have in the near future. Pastor Dennis, the rose among the thorns. hahaha! Being the only man who made on this list, I am very overwhelmed of his passion and his boldness to share the gospel. I am very thankful to God that even through his blogs and podcasts, I’m growing more, spiritually. I could feel his joy in what he’s doing. I am amazed how much he loves and honors his wife and values family. Miss Thammie, as Pastor Dennis described, have the qualities of a Proverbs 31 woman. When I read her blog and how her husband respects her made me a little envious and wishful that if ever I’m going to be mom and a wife someday, I would want to my husband and kids to say the same things to me. I would like to be still as pretty like her. I can still remember one time I told my mom “Ma, ayoko maging losyang.” Hahahaha! Natatawa ako sa mga statements ko. But for real, she inspires me because she knows her priorities and without a doubt she’s a good home maker. I’m just so blessed with both of them and very thankful on how God is really using them in church, in the web, in their families.

So there goes my list. Feel free to comment and create one of your own. God bless and cheers for a year full of love, blessing and happiness. Truly God is good all the time.

(c) photos: pattylaurel.blogspot.com; dennissy.com; google.com; facebook.com

It's the most wonderful time of the year.

IRATE!

Yesterday, due to some inevitable circumstances relevant to my work, I got pissed. I don’t want to specify who and how I got angry but I was really surprised, I can be really, really, as in really mad.

Odd as it may sound; my officemates knew me of being calm, nice, "sweet" (hehehe), cheerful, and non-temperamental that when they saw me yesterday fuming out of proportion, one employee said, “Nagagalit pala si Ma’am Divine.” Seriously, that comment really made me laugh. My image of being sweet came tumbling down and down and the mala-anghel aura was being replaced by a grouchy lady in just one day, just because of one event that really got into me.

Affected talaga ako to the point na sumasakit na ang aking dibdib ko. Surprisingly, I wasn’t crying at all. But I can really feel that it’s already affecting me physically, I wanted to curse. I wanted to say mean things. I wanted to confront. I wanted to get even. The worst part was, I can’t let it go that easily.

I used to have this extremely long line of patience in me. Kahit siguro matapakan ako ng 3 beses sa loob ng LRT, hindi ako papalag eh. There are just some things that you can’t ignore. Maybe that’s the reason why I really snapped.

Fortunately my officemates were able to calm me down. I try my best to laugh in spite of my mood. Para akong ewan talaga. When I got to my desk, I let myself rest and cool down for a while, and then I started searching some Bible verses about anger management. Then I got this,

"Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger.." Ephesians 4:26 ESV

The Bible shows that it’s normal for us to be angry, to get mad, and to get furious. We are born to feel and capable to respond to things. It’s not wrong to get angry. But it’s clear that if ever we do get angry, we must not sin.

Oh it’s so easy to punch someone in the face, talk behind their backs, curse, bad-mouth them. It’s hard to control. Emotions can really make us do crazy things. It’s easy to take matters in our own hands. Most especially if we know we are right. But then again, anuman ang gawin naten, nasa huli ang pagsisisi. It’s true. God’s word is clear, correcting us and guiding us, changing us from day to day basis.

So when you get angry, pause. Pray. Remember His word and promises. Maybe you were the aggrieved person and you’re about to explode, hold it for a while. God is our refuge.

“Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” – Romans 12:19.

Spread the love everyone. Christmas is fast approaching. God bless.

Facebook Banning...

On our workplace that is. Let's just say that I'm one of those who is guilty in committing a huge crime in using facebook during office hours. Hindi na ako magmamalinis. hehehe! These notifications are just tempting man! hahaha! Those little red numbered flags are hard not to open. Major struggle! I thought it's just a harmless little thing. No one would know. No one would mind. But if you are now rushing tons and tons of deadlines and pending because you have failed to do your job on time, and making facebook the main culprit of it, then it's a whole different story.

For sure some would agree with me, facebook is addicting. Of course, who doesn't want to stay in touch with their friends, view the profiles and updates of your peeps and other strangers. Hindi mo mapigilan tumitig sa picture ng crush mo! hehehe! It's like a vice. Masarap ang bawal. The worst part is, I know it's wrong, yet I kept doing it. I know that even if no one sees me, even if no one would speak up and tell us off, I know Someone does see me, and He is not happy on what He's looking at.

So when the first warning came in our office, I personally decided to radically change this pattern. Not just to do what is morally right but also to accomplish tasks that must be done on time. It's hard. hahaha! If some would read my blog right now, you might say, Facebook lang yan teh?! Oh yeah! It might "just" be facebook, but the difficult thing here is breaking the bad habit. This lifestyle at work that seems to become a norm. It's been tempting to open a new tab and log in. Since my boss didn't approve of blocking the facebook site on our network, I agree with her. What's the point of exercising self-control if the object of temptation is already gone?

The good news is? It's possible. Oh yes we can! Kahit hindi facebook yan, it could be other things that we are addicted to. Things that we put lordship over us. Things that we know that could ruin us in the future yet we hold onto them.

1 Corinthians 10:13 " No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it."

I don't mean to be too preachy about this, but I'm just thankful to God because again, He has proven that His word works and we can overcome temptations. I thank God because I know Facebook and these things has no power over me. That in this workplace, in this time of change, it's not me who shines, but Him. :)

On Blog-Overhaul...

One petiks day at the office, my blog went to an evaluation. I was browsing some of my previous posts and I just kept thinking “why did I ever write that post?” I was thinking of deleting all of my posts and start fresh. I was thinking of tumbling my way through tumblr or pressing toward wordpress and create a new account hahaha! Yet, I decided to just stay here. ‘Wag muna malikot. Hahaha! Well for the main reason, that those posts are the proof of how much I’ve changed since I started blogging here. Besides, if ever lilipat ako, yun eh dahil may sarili na akong domain!! Hahahaha!

Let’s just say that this blog-overhaul is influenced by my newly-found passion, new-found influence from people. Surprisingly, unexpectedly, came across to my life on world wide web. Another reason would be, after more than a year of writing here on blogspot, I think it’s time for a blog-makeover. So for starters for this blog overhaul, I got myself asking three things;

WHY DO I BLOG?

I’ve been a blogger for about 5 years I think. I’m not really sure though. The very first blog that I stumbled upon on is Paula Peralejo’s site. Sad to say, it’s not updated anymore. I remember saying “okay to ah?!” She has so much take on things, and for her age, she’s very articulate and she’s really smart. Na-inspire lang talaga ako. There’s so much that rubbed off in me in writing and posting blogs. It is fun. It’s something new, another tool for us to improve our communication skills, even just in writing and most of all, magmumukha akong smart hahaha! I want to voice out my opinion on things, seize that freedom of expression, despite the uncertainty that someone will bother to read them.


HOW WOULD I WRITE MY BLOG?

Paula Peralejo is just one source. One influence. One style. As the years go by, I’m starting to sound like her, losing my identity that should be the one that outshines on my site. I realized that it’s up to me how would I present my blog, what posts would matter and how would I make it readable and sounding more like me. I don’t want to give an impression to readers that the person writing this is so different from writer. Ang showbiz ko naman pag nagkataon. Haha!

Another thing is medium. Wala pa akong kilalang foreigner na nagbabasa ng post ko. I’m not an expert in English, I have troubles in prepositions, conjunctions, and sometimes, I’m suffering a mild case of nominal aphasia hahaha. So I decided to blog as if I was just conversing to a certain friend. No hesitations. Comfortable to the point na lumalabas ang pagiging babaeng bakla ko. Hehehe! I’d rather have it that way, as long as it’s effective, non-offensive and beneficial to reader/s.

(*Nominal Aphasia – Better known around the research community as Anomic aphasia, it is a severe problem with recalling words or names) – Source; Wikipedia

WHAT WOULD I WANT MY BLOG TO BE?

Everything starts with a purpose. A goal. Lately I’ve been questioning even the minute things I do if there’s a purpose or not. The mere fact I’m spending too much time in blogging must have a purpose. Time is gold diba? Hehehe! So for me, this is very important. I have to define it now starting this blog-overhaul.

I want my blog to be inspirational. I want to inspire people just how other bloggers inspire me. I hope to connect with other people when I blog. I want it to be fun and carefree. Kumbaga anything goes. From something informative to something adventurous, as long as it’s worth-posting hehehe! I want to naturally inject humor on my post. One blog that really got me laughing was Patty Laurel’s site. She occasionally writes but whenever she post new ones, for sure benta yun. Lalo na sa aking mababaw ang kaligayahan hehehe.

And last but not the least; I want it to be Scripture-oriented. I came to a realization how powerful the Bible is. You want encouragement? you’ll get it from there. You want assurance, peace, answers? They’re all there. Pastor Dennis and Miss Thammie’s blog gave me the drive for this and I’m very thankful to God on encountering these people. I encourage you if ever you start a blog, have at least 1 or 2 verses to share. You never know who might need it.






I hope that this post can also help those who wanted to start their own blog. I for sure would be glad to help with my very best effort. I know the blogger in me 5 years ago is much different from the blogger now. I don’t want to break down personally what changed; I’ll let you be the judge. Hehehe! Hopefully the coming posts are in accordance with all the stuff I said here. I started overhauling my theme. Hahaha! Tell me what you guys think. God bless everyone.

*photo credits: www.thammiesy.com and aaronvicencio.blogspot.com